Advice

Timely Isn’t Always Relevant

by

(This column is posted at www.StevenSavage.com and Steve’s Tumblr.  Find out more at my newsletter.)

Thus it is that the Great man abides by what is solid, and eschews what is flimsy; dwells with the fruit and not with the flower.

  • Tao Te Ching, Chapter 38, Legge translation

Over at his blog, Serdar discusses the seeming constant need out there to keep track of what’s timely, relevant, and so on. There’s so much to keep track of, and people want us to have opinions on everything. We can’t, yet we’re somehow supposed to because everyone demands our time, demands opinion.

If you’re any kind of writer or artist, if you comment on culture and politics, you know what this feels like. I experience this myself.

There’s a sinister side to this as well, beyond the merely annoying. It keeps us distracted, it keeps us fighting, it keeps us arguing. If you’re a news junkie like myself, you know how exhausting it to watch the media clog with manufactured outrage or see important issues disappear under a wave of B.S.

Ultimately it’s up to us to decide on what’s relevant and what matters to us and bow out of where we can’t. There’s only so much attention to go around, and society has made itself into a spectacle enough as it is.

It’s also up to us to give people a break and understand their limits. They too have only so much time to spend or space to care. Much as we need our boundaries, they need theirs.

Maybe if we give each other enough space to focus on what matters, enough truly important issues will be paid attention to.

Steven Savage



An Experiment: The Hangout

by

(This column is posted at www.StevenSavage.com and Steve’s Tumblr.  Find out more at my newsletter.)

One of the challenges in my life is staying socially connected, working on my projects, and staying sane in this world. Those things don’t always connect because it takes effort to connect, my projects can be demanding (if fun), and the world is really dumb right now. Plus everyone’s stressed, work is tough, and going out is a lot of effort and arguing over which Disney-backed movie to see quickly gets sort of sad.

My solution, which I’ve tried the last two months, is the Hangout.

It works like this:

  1. Someone with enough room invites people over for a few hours (I recommend at least 4). This should be a quiet house or apartment, but could also be a library room or a local shop.
  2. There is no real agenda.
  3. Everyone brings their laptops, notebooks, books, whatever.
  4. If possible, bring food like a potluck or something. Don’t make it complex, just easy.
  5. Everyone sits around and does their thing, only they do it together. Sure you might game or run something on TV if folks want. I even ran a Background game called Becalm.
  6. It helps if you have several rooms/locations.
  7. Do it for as long as you want.

I’ve done these twice (and once by accident when I misinterpreted a schedule) and my gods they were wonderful. We all hung out. We talked. We watched TV. We got things done. We just were sitting around being together.

Since a lot of my friends are creative, I’ve emphasized its a great place to do things (writing, games, graphics design) while being together. But the key thing is just low-key socialization.

(Not to say I didn’t get a lot done during the times I did these).

I think what works for me is that we’ve made socializing overly complex and over busy. We’re trying to figure which film to see, what restaurant to go to, who’s schedule is open, etc. Relaxing with friends feels like work – this makes it non-work.

So now my goal is to run one of these a month at least. Just throw open the living rooms, hang out, do whatever. It’s relaxing, it’s social, it’s low key.

BONUS IDEA: I’m trying to figure how we can work Skype, Slack, or Discord into this so people can hang out together across the world. Let me know if you have any ideas.

Steven Savage

In Praise Of Fun

by

(This column is posted at www.StevenSavage.com and Steve’s Tumblr.  Find out more at my newsletter.)

I’ve been writing (a lot) about fun and how we ruin fun, as well as how we ruin it for others.  So let me take a moment to praise fun in glorious detail.

Yes, it may seem strange to list out the value of fun, as if this is some psychic spreadsheet.  But this an act that not jut acts as a reminder to myself and others, but also lets us “short circuit” those times we or others try to be “practical.”  Let’s show the practical value of supposed “impracticality”

FUN IS PURE EXPRESSION

Fun is about us.  It’s pure expression of who we are.  When we have fun, we’re being true to ourselves – indeed we’re being ourselves.

When we have fun, we’re acting in life without friction, and we’re being who we are.  These moments are valuable, irreplaceable.

These moments may turn out to be less pleasant than expected – we may find out a lot about ourselves.  What we enjoy may be a pathological escape, or it may show some deep seated need.  At least then we know.

Fun can be tricky.

FUN OPENS OUR MINDS AND EXPANDS OUR HORIZON

I’ve seen multiple ways of saying “when we have fun we’re really creative and open” so I just said it without embellishment.  When we have fun, we open our minds because we’re enjoying life, and we’re open to new things (or things we forgot).  When we’re happy, we can see further because the walls are down and our thoughts are going.

Fun also makes it so we’re receptive.  In a more relaxed state, an open state we can think new thoughts and take in new ideas.

Ask yourself how many times you had a great idea or dream or vision in a moment of entertainment or idle relaxation.

FUN NARROWS OUR MINDS AS WELL

As much as fun opens our minds, it can also narrow them as well.  Hyperfocused on something, lost in the book or a game, our minds zoom in, becoming “open” in an intense way.  Like a laser, our minds become a point on what we’re interested in, powerful and direct.

This can be a great way to close out distractions, to silence troubled thoughts, or to go deep into something we like.  There we may find ourselves, find solace, or find new ideas that the noise of life kept us from seeing.

Fun can be narrowing and broadening.  Again, it’s tricky.

FUN PUMPS US UP

Fun can get us energized, and sometimes we need that.  We may need to get out of a funk, or just get reminded of what we like, or rally ourselves.  A game, a walk, a good book can all do those things.

Fun goes right for those visceral thoughts and feelings, charges us up, and reminds us who we are.  Ever have a cheesy movie or mindless but fun joke get you going?  That’s the power of fun, even supposed “trash” that’s sincere energizes us.

FUN RELAXES US

Just as fun can open and narrow our minds, fun can energize us but also calm us down.

When we’re having fun we can be open and relaxed, being ourselves, defenses down.  Even if our idea of fun is focusing intensely on a screen as our teammates in a video game do dumb things, that focus tunes out other stimuli.  We may be intensely into something, but that intensely has little room for disruptive emotions and thoughts, so we may be relaxed in our own way.

Fun, that trickster, can pump us up and calm us down at the same time.

FUN SHORT-CIRCUITS BAD HABITS

When we have fun, we often shut down assorted parts of our personality and various habits.  With our anxieties and obsessions out of the way, with us in a state of joy, fun gives us a chance to be us without some of the baggage.  This experience is incredibly valuable.

We often view our problems and pathologies as set – if we even notice them.  To have moments when our issues and fears and so on stop is important as we can step outside of them, getting not just relief but a new perspective.  We also may see bad habits we didn’t know about until they were silenced – and we see life without them.

Silence is golden, and often helps us realize how much noise there was

FUN OPENS US TO NEW IDEAS

Fun opens us up to new ideas.  There, outside of our usual concerns and thoughts, we can imagine more.  Able to make new associations in our joys, we can dream new concepts.  We can see things from other sides, say, in the form of an intriguing game or movie.

Admittedly the things that we enjoy might create new bad habits.  We can get obsessed about a game.  A novel may entertain us but introduce us to the author’s personal problems disguised as deep thoughts.  But life is risky . . .

FUN IS JUST BEING ALIVE

Fun is also just, well, great.  Fun is being alive.  Fun is joyful.  Fun is happy.  Fun is part of being human.

So look, let’s have fun and support others in the same.  Let’s make it a support for real fun as well, finding what we like even if its not the next big thing.  Let’s encourage and share our joys.

FUN MAKES THE WORLD BETTER

Look, if we all had more happiness, we’d probably not mess up the world as we do.

YES, I ANALYZED FUN

So, yes, I analyzed fun and it’s value.  But it was worth it so we can think about why fun matters in, ironically, a practical way.  After all, fun is a hall of mirrors, so why can’t we see it from the other side.

Or maybe, the sides aren’t so separate . .

Steven Savage