lying

Well Yes, They Lie

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(This column is posted at www.StevenSavage.com, Steve’s Tumblr, and Pillowfort.  Find out more at my newsletter, and all my social media at my linktr.ee)

I’m trying to figure out why people are surprised that other people, especially powerful people, lie.

Yes, of course I’m inspired by the whole thing where people are surprised Trump suddenly backs H1B visas, or at least sounds like he does. I mean why are people surprised that politicians are lying and how do they ignore previous disappointments? People are also surprised that businesses lie to them even after buying a bunch of terrible projects. Don’t even start me on movies, where lying about quality has become an art form while the films aren’t art but so much a sad cry from help from marketing.

I’m looking at YOU, Kraven. How do you mess up “sexy chest-revealing badass hunter”?

Anyway, it seems we can complain but we keep believing the lies. I mean look how people are talking Jimmy Carter being decent like we’re surprised someone is. But then we go ahead and believe some salesman or politician who lies to our faces as it’s the right lie.

And look, I get some people lie, even good ones, especially politicians. Some folks have to keep secrets even if they’re usually terrible about. Politicians and marketers have to put some polish on some potential turds. People are gonna get lie-adjacent, and yeah we get that.

But how do we keep being surprised that people lie to us blatantly when they’ve kept doing it? Especially when they’re politicians and big companies who you’d think we wouldn’t trust, considering our constant cultural elements of “don’t trust these things.”

I think it’s because cynicism also begets faith. Which also sounds like a dynamite alt-metal album title

Anyway by aging fantasies of music aside, think about what happens when you get real cynical about people. You don’t trust anyone. You’re not sure who to count on. Mistrust is hard even when it’s warranted. It’s wearing.

So you also want to trust someone. Cynicism can, in some ways, generate trust because you want someone to help you solve the problem. When you’ve got a big enemy, you want a big friend to help you.

Mistrust breeds trust.

Of course people know this. Ever notice how a lot of conspiracy theorists afraid “of the system” also sound pretty authoritarian? They want to fight The Conspiracy by establishing something that sounds just as bad when you think about it – they just promise you’ll be on top. People trust them because so much mistrust gets sown – or they come with it.

If you ever follow any podcast about conspiracy theorists you’ll quickly see how they’re often absolutely, blatantly lying. It honestly gets tiring, and I follow these things since it’s kind of relevant to my job in IT and medicine where lots of conspiracy theories get pointed.

Ultimately we need to know how to form trust appropriately – with communities. Know who you can trust, know what real trust feels like. That lets you also evaluate other relationships, especially more distant ones like with politicians and media figures. In time they might be worth trust, but you need some real trust to avoid the trust/cynicism fluctuation – and to get together to push politicians and leaders who need some pressuring.

You ever hear people rant about how we lack community? Well, I’m leaning to believe the ranters as I get older. If we form real relationships it may help us detect ones people are using to manipulate us. A little more trust might just breed effective mistrust as we have something to believe in and something to protect.

But at least for now maybe we can be a little more suspicions – even of ourselves.

Steven Savage

How Deep Does the B.S. Go?

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Lately I was speculating on the role of B.S. in our economy, politics, and technology. I’d spell it out (and swear more probably) but I do have some discretion!

We’ve normalized the idea that some people are honestly, lying to us. We expect that we’re being lied to be marketing forces, by the latest trends, and by politicians. It’s honestly so normalized, it seems we can’t imagine a less deception-free world.

(It also makes me realize how people can get blaise about COVID.)

In turn, we’ve also normalized that people we like are lying. Yeah, that famous tech guy is hyping stuff, but we like his product. Sure the politician we voted for is spouting demented nonsense, but they’re our politician. We go to see a movie we know we’ve been sold on in the negative sense or a restaurant whos food is just “OK” but you know, advertising and familiarity.

What’s struck me lately, is that we are probably too used to lying as well.

When I’ve seen people rallying to the defense of people, media, and so on that they like you an hear them repeat talking points. You can tell with just a bit of empathy that many people don’t really or exactly believe what they say. But to defend what they like for whatever reason,

I even found myself tempted to do it (which tells me I do do it, I just didn’t catch myself).

I’m wondering how deep the B.S. in our media-saturated, pundit-heavy, social media culture goes by now. I mean yes humans have always lied to others and themselves, but it feels pretty amplified and survival-adverse in my experience. How much of our lives, as individuals, is just lying about stuff?

I think some of it is definitely internet and media culture. Say the right things, do the right things, and you get money, attention, and might even become some kind of Influencer or Pundit. You can lie for a living if you play your cards right! Whatever B.S. problems we had in the past, you can do it faster, giving less time for experience and other people to provide restraining feedback.

In a time of chaos and climate change, this is even more disturbing. We’ve got a lot of problems to solve, or at least survive, and if we’ve all internalized outright deception to an extent, it’s going to be much harder. When everyone is busy not telling the truth, it gets harder to tell the truth, and even when a bunch of people do, too many might not out of various motivations.

I know at least I’ll be watching myself closer. But this is going to haunt me.

Steven Savage