psychology

Fun And Yourself

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(This column is posted at www.StevenSavage.com and Steve’s Tumblr.  Find out more at my newsletter.)

We’re in a crisis as I write this. We’ve got a worldwide Pandemic, and not every country is managing it very well (or at all). It’s possible you’re escaping with fun, but you may also feel guilty, or unable to enjoy yourself, worrying you’re wasting time.

You’re not.

Yes, fun is relaxing, yes, fun distracts. But fun also is a great way to get back to who you are and find out who you are.

When we have fun, we express parts of ourselves in safe ways. Perhaps we love the camaraderie of sports, and thus enjoy them because of shared identity. Maybe we love managing things and ticking boxes, playing strategy games and using that organized sides of ourselves. We may crave adventure, our hands holding a controller as we fire our guns in an action-adventure game. Fun lets us get back to who we are.

Knowing who we are is vital for navigating crises. It centers us, but in a safe way, and gives us the hope to become more of who we are. It’s an expression, and a reminder.

But also, fun lets you find new parts of ourselves. When we see we’ve played the same kind of video game three times in a row, that says something about us. When we avoid this kind of movie but indulge in others, that says something about us. When we have fun, things we don’t know of emerge.

Knowing who we can be is vital for navigating crises. It helps us grow and learn and understand, and experience the joy of being.

Finally, fun lets us find things we hide. We may find a dark side that comes out in our musical tastes. We may discover we work through issues with certain kinds of movies. Even finding we dodge stress with our recreations tells us what we’re dodging.

Knowing who we are lets us overcome our problems, turn vices into virtues, and accept ourselves. Fun does that.

So sure, you’re relaxing and exscaping with fun. That’s great. But you’re also becoming, exploring, and discovering. That’s great to.

Have fun. Become yourself.

Steven Savage

Social Ruggedization

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(This column is posted at www.StevenSavage.com and Steve’s Tumblr.  Find out more at my newsletter.)

You didn’t see any blog posts from me last week as life was busy and disrupted due to the coronavirus. Don’t worry, I’m fine, its just that there were a lot of changes.

I, my girlfriend, and a lot of people we know are working from home, which is a huge schedule change. We’re in a shelter-in-place order here. Then there’s the collapsing economy and so on.

You’ll understand the lack of blog posts and the large amount of junk food consumed.

So now a lot of us find ourselves in a disease crisis, not leaving home, and worrying about the state of the world. We’re all working to stay connected, stick together and make it through. So I wanted to talk about “social ruggedization.”

I’ve heard people use the term “ruggedizing” to refer to dealing with climate change – we need to make our cities and supply chains rugged in the face of disruption. The same goes for our social systems, from our world to our countries to our own social groups.

This crisis has shown the need to build resilient social systems. That’s not just my job, or your job, it’s everyone’s job. So here’s what I’m doing and a few suggestions from what I’ve learned.

Connect Regularly: People need some kind of regular checkin to connect. This could be a regular event like a weekly call. It could be a regular tool people use for communication like Discord. Sync up.

Overcome Space: Right now we’ve got to overcome the space between us, but remember there’s always space between us. It may be the space of a schedule change, or someone is laid up, or simple distance. Be pre-emptively planning to connect with people.

Share Events: There’s doing things together, but you can also share events passively. A lot of my friends and I do viewing parties where we just hang out, watch TV and do our creative projects, and so on. We’ll move those online – and streaming and so on make it easier.

Check In: Reach out to people to see how they’re doing regularly. Right now I post a daily update to some social media and check in with a few people via text messages. It’s a way to let people know you’re OK, hear from them, and encourage them to do the same.

Pool Resources: Start getting ready to share resources now. It could be food, it could be technology, or something. Start getting into the habit of helping each other and covering each other. We need it and have always need it.

Built The Society You Want: Focus on building real connections and social structures you want. Have a vision. Make it work.

Share and Promote Ruggedization: Share and promote making serious, surviving social structures. Share tips like this. Share technology that works. You want a stable society, share what you learned in making your own little stable society.

Meet New People: Go on and meet new people. YOu might make new friends and make new connections. Sure, be selective and have standards, but see who else fits them.

Connect People: In these tough times, I’ve been working to introduce people to each other. This way folks make more social connections and find allies and resources.

I hope you’re doing well in surviving these crazy times. Reach out to me with your thoughts and your ideas – or just reach out.

Steven Savage

Spread The Fun

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(This column is posted at www.StevenSavage.com and Steve’s Tumblr.  Find out more at my newsletter.)

I’ve written in praise of fun many times. Fun liberates, fun soothes, fun inspires, fun explores. Fun is a great thing, and I am totally behind it.

We also need fun as human beings. It can connect us to each other. Notice how we share fun, even if it’s just discussing cool things with each other?

So I want to encourage you to share fun with others. Buy people games and books that you enjoyed. Purchase art for them that fits their passions. Have viewing parties of great movies or television. You don’t even have to like what you share – as long as your loved ones enjoy it.

Spread the fun.

Now, why would you do this? I’d like to leave this “as is,” but analyzing it also helps us understand the value and think of better ways to do it.

Here’s why you spread the fun.

It makes people happy. That’s the obvious one, but it’s worth repeating. The world needs happiness and joy, and just one gift can make a different.

It connects you to people. A gift that brings joy connects you with the receiver. It’s a way to be closer to someone. We all need strong ties.

It teaches you about people. To learn what people enjoy and what they care about is to learn about them specifically and people in general. Giving the gift of fun teaches you deep things about people.

It exposes you to more. Giving gifts of games and shows and such that people enjoy exposes you to their tastes. You might just learn about the world and find new things to try.

It sets an example. Share with someone and they may be inspired to do the same. You become a role model or a source of ideas.

It puts money in the hands of creators. Help support creators with your money when you share fun. This is especially important in supporting innovative, small, interesting, and radical makers, writers, and more.

So the world needs more fun and more joy. One small gift can have a cascade effect.

Start spreading the fun.

Steven Savage