psychology

In Praise Of Fun

by

(This column is posted at www.StevenSavage.com and Steve’s Tumblr.  Find out more at my newsletter.)

I’ve been writing (a lot) about fun and how we ruin fun, as well as how we ruin it for others.  So let me take a moment to praise fun in glorious detail.

Yes, it may seem strange to list out the value of fun, as if this is some psychic spreadsheet.  But this an act that not jut acts as a reminder to myself and others, but also lets us “short circuit” those times we or others try to be “practical.”  Let’s show the practical value of supposed “impracticality”

FUN IS PURE EXPRESSION

Fun is about us.  It’s pure expression of who we are.  When we have fun, we’re being true to ourselves – indeed we’re being ourselves.

When we have fun, we’re acting in life without friction, and we’re being who we are.  These moments are valuable, irreplaceable.

These moments may turn out to be less pleasant than expected – we may find out a lot about ourselves.  What we enjoy may be a pathological escape, or it may show some deep seated need.  At least then we know.

Fun can be tricky.

FUN OPENS OUR MINDS AND EXPANDS OUR HORIZON

I’ve seen multiple ways of saying “when we have fun we’re really creative and open” so I just said it without embellishment.  When we have fun, we open our minds because we’re enjoying life, and we’re open to new things (or things we forgot).  When we’re happy, we can see further because the walls are down and our thoughts are going.

Fun also makes it so we’re receptive.  In a more relaxed state, an open state we can think new thoughts and take in new ideas.

Ask yourself how many times you had a great idea or dream or vision in a moment of entertainment or idle relaxation.

FUN NARROWS OUR MINDS AS WELL

As much as fun opens our minds, it can also narrow them as well.  Hyperfocused on something, lost in the book or a game, our minds zoom in, becoming “open” in an intense way.  Like a laser, our minds become a point on what we’re interested in, powerful and direct.

This can be a great way to close out distractions, to silence troubled thoughts, or to go deep into something we like.  There we may find ourselves, find solace, or find new ideas that the noise of life kept us from seeing.

Fun can be narrowing and broadening.  Again, it’s tricky.

FUN PUMPS US UP

Fun can get us energized, and sometimes we need that.  We may need to get out of a funk, or just get reminded of what we like, or rally ourselves.  A game, a walk, a good book can all do those things.

Fun goes right for those visceral thoughts and feelings, charges us up, and reminds us who we are.  Ever have a cheesy movie or mindless but fun joke get you going?  That’s the power of fun, even supposed “trash” that’s sincere energizes us.

FUN RELAXES US

Just as fun can open and narrow our minds, fun can energize us but also calm us down.

When we’re having fun we can be open and relaxed, being ourselves, defenses down.  Even if our idea of fun is focusing intensely on a screen as our teammates in a video game do dumb things, that focus tunes out other stimuli.  We may be intensely into something, but that intensely has little room for disruptive emotions and thoughts, so we may be relaxed in our own way.

Fun, that trickster, can pump us up and calm us down at the same time.

FUN SHORT-CIRCUITS BAD HABITS

When we have fun, we often shut down assorted parts of our personality and various habits.  With our anxieties and obsessions out of the way, with us in a state of joy, fun gives us a chance to be us without some of the baggage.  This experience is incredibly valuable.

We often view our problems and pathologies as set – if we even notice them.  To have moments when our issues and fears and so on stop is important as we can step outside of them, getting not just relief but a new perspective.  We also may see bad habits we didn’t know about until they were silenced – and we see life without them.

Silence is golden, and often helps us realize how much noise there was

FUN OPENS US TO NEW IDEAS

Fun opens us up to new ideas.  There, outside of our usual concerns and thoughts, we can imagine more.  Able to make new associations in our joys, we can dream new concepts.  We can see things from other sides, say, in the form of an intriguing game or movie.

Admittedly the things that we enjoy might create new bad habits.  We can get obsessed about a game.  A novel may entertain us but introduce us to the author’s personal problems disguised as deep thoughts.  But life is risky . . .

FUN IS JUST BEING ALIVE

Fun is also just, well, great.  Fun is being alive.  Fun is joyful.  Fun is happy.  Fun is part of being human.

So look, let’s have fun and support others in the same.  Let’s make it a support for real fun as well, finding what we like even if its not the next big thing.  Let’s encourage and share our joys.

FUN MAKES THE WORLD BETTER

Look, if we all had more happiness, we’d probably not mess up the world as we do.

YES, I ANALYZED FUN

So, yes, I analyzed fun and it’s value.  But it was worth it so we can think about why fun matters in, ironically, a practical way.  After all, fun is a hall of mirrors, so why can’t we see it from the other side.

Or maybe, the sides aren’t so separate . .

Steven Savage

An Exercise: Facing Past Choices

by

(This column is posted at www.StevenSavage.com and Steve’s Tumblr.  Find out more at my newsletter.)

A while ago I caught myself reflecting on my life choices, and my wish to have done things differently. Sure we all do that, but I found myself going over what could be, and it was distracting. There’s a point where done is done, and going over things yields no useful lessons and wastes time.

I also wanted to get this non-productive overthinking out of my system, both to stop doing it but also to see what I could learn. I quickly came up with an exercise that I want to recommend to people – because I’m sure many of you go into “what if” phases as I did.

Set aside at least an hour of your time and go to some place where you can have a nice non-distracted walk or sit (a park, a large mall, etc.). Take your phone, but during your time there don’t use it – it can be a distraction.

Now while you walk (or sit) do the following:

  • Take your most recent “life choice you may have done differently” and ask what would have happened if you had really made another choice. Keep it to two or three possibilities like “if I’d done X then probably Y and Z,” and make sure the answer “feels” right to you.
  • Once you finish with that item, move to the next, earliest “choice point” in your history and do the same, working through your life backward.
  • It’s OK to say the answer to any of your questions is “I don’t know.” That’s fine and healthy.
  • Go back as far as you need to, though I found for we older folks 18 is more than enough.
  • Don’t rush this, just don’t dwell on anything so deeply that you go down a mental rabbit hole.
  • When done take a break.

I found this an incredibly cleansing exercise. It got me over some things I kept obsessing over. It gave me an excellent retrospective. It definitely shortened this phase of “what if I had done things differently.”

I guess it got a lot out of my system.

I also had a few insights I want to share that may help you make sense of your own choices if you do this exercise:

  • Saying “if I did X then I don’t know” was liberating – as was the effort to see if I really could guess at what changes my choices would bring.
  • I found some interesting divergence points in my life where I could have become radically different in ways I could visualize. I didn’t always like those mes.
  • I was able to recognize people and groups and occurrences that helped keep me grounded in my life, and that may explain some of my behavior and what things keep my attention.
  • Significant trends in my career became apparent – as in there are three locations I kept thinking of moving career-wise to since my teens to 30’s. I live in one of those locations now.
  • A lot of my childhood interests are still part of my life. I wanted to work in tech, in science, and be a writer. I’m more or less doing those things, just in different ways.
  • I had a much better sense of what I wanted mattered to me.

Feeling reflective to the level it’s like being in a hall of mirrors? Try this exercise and see what you find.

Steven Savage

Why People Fight Fun

by

(This column is posted at www.StevenSavage.com and Steve’s Tumblr.  Find out more at my newsletter.)

After my last post on fun and how we turn it into work, I had a (fun) brainstorm about many ways turning work into fun affects us and other, related cultural pathologies. Looks like this is going to be a series on fun and the elimination of fun.

I’ll try to enjoy it to avoid an overload of irony.

In fact, let me turn from discussing fun to the more sinister side of “fun control.” When we look at joylessless, and fun becoming work, it leads us to ask “who wants to live in a world like this?” Why is there so much joylessness and sadness? Why do people work to stamp out enjoyment?

There are reasons.

Controlling Fun Makes People Joyless

Fun is about joy. Pure, unadulterated being alive. In many ways, fun is a deep expression of who we are, and having it helps us feel alive.

Fun spills out, gushes out, and it’s not exactly clear or rational. It’s connective and it’s internal. A happy person, a joyful person, is themselves.

If you want to control people, you can’t have that. Joyful people don’t need you and your religion or your self-help book or to elect you. Joyful people are irritatingly independent.

So, crushing fun, getting rid of things people like makes people joyless. Some people may enjoy crushing fun as it gives them a sense of power, but also it makes people more controllable . . .

Controlling Fun Limits Imagination

Imagination is terrifying to people who are control freaks or want to sell us something we don’t need. Fun fuels imagination, it’s about connectivity and uninhibited experience. Fun is independent, and often relies on our minds and feelings rampaging into new areas or powerful and passionate experiences. Imagination of course, makes people unpredictable and gives them the power to create.

So if you’re there trying to contorl people, you want less imagination (or to co-opt it). One way to control it is to control fun things, those things that might inspire, that might cause people to think and feel differently. If you reduce fun, that enthusiasm and joyfulness and connect-the-dots experiences fade and people are less imaginative.

Ever notice how various dictators attack art and creativity? The less imagination people have the more control you have.

Controlling Fun Makes People Manipulable

To lack fun is to lack expression, and when we don’t have it, we seek it. A life without joy is a not a life, and we seek something to enjoy, to feel good about. We seek in, short, to be.

Disipirited people, joyless people, are easy yo lead and manipulate. They have little to live for, but you can give them smething to live for. This gives you power.

Of course some people just enjoy causing misery as well. Again, that sense of power.

Controlling Fun Gives You Power

So if you have a lot of joyless people then you’re in charge. You can control them by providing fun.

You can sell them a war so they feel powerful. You can sell them a fitness regimen so they think they’re attractive. you can sell them a religion and they think you’re the word of a god.

People who are joyless don’t even need real fun or freedom, just something close. Just give them some rush, some good feeling, and they’re yours. Joyless people will line up for something to live for -and if you make them miserable you can then give them something to enjoy.

Must-watch TV and must-play video games seem kind of different, don’t they?

Controlling Fun Lets You Attack Others

People want to feel joy and happiness. They will do what they have to in order to feel alive. That also means its easy to sic them on enemies.

Blame others for their lack of joy and they’ll attack. Claim your enemies are theirs and they’ll lash out. Pick some popular targets and they’ll attack them because they get a rush of power that makes them feel happy for a bit.

Joyless people are easily manipulated into attacking others. Is someone happy going to want to go get shot because of your ego, or rant angrily online defending your bad product? No, happy people are harder to rally against whoever you want to target.

Next time you see someone getting a mob together, ask how they’re playing to disatisfaction – or creating it.

Controlling Fun Serves Existing Power

An important thing to remember is that eliminating fun usually serves existing power structures. Controlling joy and good feelings is a way to stay in power or pass power on. So if you already have a population without happiness, then you can easily stay in charge or hand it off to someone.

Existing power structures will attack joyful things, fun, entertainment, imagination. Those things are always threats – and as they keep popping up, constant threats.

Always look to the current power structure to see wht they attack and who they attack. Be kind of nice if power structures focused on evolving and improving people’s lives instead . . .

Controlling Fun Allows People To Attack Criticism

Finally, and paradoxically, eliminating a sense of fun is also a way for existing power structures to avoid criticism.

Existing power structures want to sell you their fun, their entertainment, their form of satisfaction because that gives them power. Selling people fun provides money and power and control. However, powerful interests that sell you fun often sell you fun that reinforces the existing system.

So when someone critiques what they’re selling, from a religion to a TVshow, that critique is seen as a personal attack by the consumers of that source of fun. They get pleasure from it, and thus they attack and lash back, missing the validity of the critique.

If you’ve ever seen people get viciously angry over a comic book, or seen someone push a thing as a guilty (forbidden) pleasure, you see what I mean. Look how past marketing has acted as if the product is something transgressive and unique (and thus invites critique, which only interests people more)

Conclusion

There are reasons people try to control fun – and those reasons are often power. People without happiness, without fun, are easily controlled and easily sold something.

That of course doesn’t mean anyone selling you something is bad. Not everything someone wants you to buy is to control you (beyond getting your money).

But when you see unhappy people, when you feel joyless, it might help to ask if anyone benefits . . .

Steven Savage